DC By the Book

Excerpt: Stuck in the silence of our conversation, all I can hear is how loud the engine is revving. Up ahead is the entrance to the underpass that runs below Dupont Circle. The small tunnel has an initial steep drop, so you can’t see how many cars are actually ahead of you. Nora doesn’t seem to care. Without slowing down, we leap into the tunnel and my stomach drops. Luckily, there’s no one in front of us.

Excerpt: Within a few minutes, Simon’s woven his way through Adams Morgan and is heading up 16th Street. Still a block behind him, we hit Religion Row and pass the dozens of temples, mosques, and churches that dot the landscape.

Excerpt: Simon puts on his blinker, makes a left-hand turn, and weaves his way onto Rock Creek Parkway, whose wooded embankments and tree-shaded trails have favorite-path status among D.C. joggers and bike riders. At rush hour, Rock Creek Parkway is swarming with commuters racing back to the suburbs. Right now, it’s dead-empty—which means Simon can spot us easily.

Excerpt: I hit the gas, turn the wheel, and tear out of there. A sharp U-turn causes the wheels to scream and sends us back toward the Carter Barron/16th Street exit. As I fly forward, my eyes are glued to the rearview mirror. Nora’s staring at her sideview. “No one’s there,” she says, sounding more wishful than confident. “We’re okay.”

Excerpt: As we once again start moving toward Pennsylvania Avenue, I have a perfect view of the White House. When I make a left on H Street, it disappears. One sudden move and it’s gone. That’s all it takes. For both of us.

Excerpt: I stop the car on 15th Street, around the corner from the Southeast Gate. At this hour, all of downtown is dead. There’s no one in sight. “Don’t you want me to pull up to the gate?” “No, no—here. I have to get out here.” “Are you sure?” At first, all she does is nod. “It’s just around the corner. And this way I save you from a confrontation with the Service.” She looks down at her watch. “I’m in under two hours, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to get my head ripped off.” “That’s why I always leave my bodyguards at home,” I say, trying to sound half as calm as my date. It’s all I can do to keep up.

Excerpt: It takes me three stops on the Metro to get from Cleveland Park to Farragut North, the closest station to the White House. On the ride, I knock off half of the Herald. I can usually get through all of it, but Simon’s escapades make for an easy distraction. If he saw us, it’s over. I’ll be buried by lunch. Looking down, I see an inky handprint where my fingers grasp the paper. The train pulls in and it’s almost eight o’clock. When I’m done climbing the escalator with the rest of the city’s suit-and-tie crowd, I’m hit in the face with a wave of D.C. heat. The remnant summer air is like licking grease, and the intensity of the bright sun is disorienting. But it’s not enough to make me forget where I work.

Excerpt: At the Pennsylvania Avenue entrance of the Old Executive Office Building, I force myself up the sharp granite stairs and pull my ID from my suit pocket. The whole area looks different than last night. Not as dark. The long line of co-workers who’re trailing through the lobby and waiting to pass through security makes me keenly aware of one thing: Anyone who says they work in the White House is a liar. And that’s the truth. In reality, there are only a hundred and two people who work in the West Wing, where the Oval Office is. All of them are bigshots. The President and his top assistants. Grade-A prime meat. The rest of us, indeed, just about everyone who says they work in the White House, actually works in the Old Executive Office Building, the ornate seven-story behemoth located right next door. Sure, the OEOB houses the majority of the people who work in the Office of the President, and sure, it’s enclosed by the same black steel bars that surround the White House. But make no mistake—it’s not the White House. Of course, that doesn’t stop every single person in there from telling their friends and family that they work in the White House. Myself included.

Excerpt: On the Saturday morning drive downtown, as I approach the White House, Pennsylvania Avenue is packed with joggers and bicyclists trying to leave the work week behind. Behind them, the sun is gleaming off the mansion’s ivory columns. It’s the kind of sight that makes you want to spend the whole day outside. That is, unless you can’t get your mind off work. I pull up to the first checkpoint before the Southwest Appointment Gate and flash my ID to a uniformed Secret Service officer. He glances at my photo and offers me a subtle smirk. In his right hand, he’s holding what looks like a pool cue with a round unbreakable mirror attached to the end of it. Without a word, he runs the mirror below the car. No bombs, no surprise guests. Knowing the rest of the ritual, I pop my rear hatch. The first officer rummages through the back of my Jeep, as I notice a second officer standing on the side with a way-too-alert German shepherd. When my car’s finally parked, they’ll send the dog sniffing on an hourly basis. Right now, they wave me in. I find an open spot on State Place, right outside the steel bars of the gate. At my level, that’s the best parking I can get. Outside the gate. Still, at least I have a parking pass.

Excerpt: Outside the elevators, a small group of tourists hovers in front of the doors, anxious to get started. I stay toward the back, watching the crowd. As we wait for the elevators to arrive, more people fill in behind me. I stand on my tiptoes, trying to get a better view. This shouldn’t be taking so long. Something’s wrong. Around me, the crowd’s getting restless. No one’s shoving, but elbow room is dwindling. A heavyset man in a blue windbreaker brushes against me, and I jerk my arm out of the way, accidentally elbowing the teenage girl behind me. “Sorry,” I tell her. “No worries,” she says in a hushed tone. Her dad nods awkwardly. So does the woman next to her. There’re too many people to keep track of. Space is getting tight. The worst part is, they’re still letting people into the museum. We’re all pushed forward in a human tide. Frantically, I search the crowd, scrutinizing every face. It’s too much. I feel myself burning up. It’s getting harder to breathe. The raw-brick walls are closing in. I’m trying to focus on the elevator’s dark steel doors and their exposed gray bolts, as if that’ll provide any relief. Finally, a bell rings as the elevator arrives. It’s as heavy-handed as they come, but the elevator operator says it best: “Welcome to the Holocaust Museum.”

Excerpt: Within three minutes, I’m on a mad dash through the Ground Floor Corridor of the mansion. At the far end of the hallway, I push through a final set of doors, cut through the small area where they sell books on the White House public tour, and see the oversized bust of Abraham Lincoln. During the day, the hallway is usually filled with tour groups checking out the architectural diagrams and famous White House photos that line the left-hand wall. For the most part, visitors and guests think that’s pretty interesting. I wonder how they’d react if they knew that on the other side of that wall is the President’s private movie theater.

Excerpt: Ten minutes later, I’m surrounded by children. Fat ones, quiet ones, crying ones, even one in a forest green sweatsuit who’s picking at his crotch something fierce. Located straight up Connecticut Avenue and final home of Hsing-Hsing, Nixon’s most-famous panda, the National Zoo is easily one of the best family attractions in the city. And one of the worst places to hold an inconspicuous meeting. Pacing across the bench-lined concrete promenade that serves as the public entrance to the zoo, I’m a dark pin-striped suit amid a rainbow sea of pigtails and camcorders. If I were on fire, I couldn’t stick out more. Maybe that was Vaughn’s hope—if the FBI is here, they’ll find it just as hard to hide.

Excerpt: In the distance, I can already see the red neon sign of the Uptown, the city’s greatest old-fashioned movie house and the neighborhood’s most popular monument. To its left, half a dozen restaurants and shops fight for attention. Dwarfed by the Uptown, they rarely get a second glance. Today, however, one jumps out: Ireland’s Four Provinces Restaurant and Pub.

Excerpt: Walking past the restaurants and cafés of Woodley Park, I finally feel at home. There’s Lebanese Taverna, where Trey and I came to celebrate his third promotion. And the sushi place where Pam and I ate when her sister came to town. This is where I live—my turf—which is why I notice the unusually clean garbage truck that’s coasting up the block.

Excerpt: At the end of the block I run for the local drugstore, CVS. The way I figure it, I’m up to about a five-minute wait. But this time, after I push open the doors, I just keep running. Straight up the cosmetics aisle. Shampoos on my left, shaving cream on my right. Pharmacy-whiff floats through the air. Without stopping, I dash to the back of the store, around a bend, and down an undecorated back hall. That’s when I spot my destination—it’s what only a local would know, and what the guys in the garbage truck would never guess—that this CVS is the only store on the block with two entrances. Smiling to myself, I throw open the back door and blow out of there like a cannonball. I look back only once. No one’s in pursuit.

Excerpt: Crossing 24th Street, I’m a rage of adrenaline. My body’s flushed with the raw energy of victory. Around the corner is the side entrance of the Woodley Park Marriott. Nothing’s going to get in my way. Inside the lobby, I reach into my pants pocket, looking for the note with the exact location. Not there. I reach into my left pocket. Then inside my jacket. Oh, crap, don’t tell me it’s… Frantically, I pull apart each of my back pockets and pat myself down. It’s not in my wallet or my… I close my eyes and retrace my steps. I had it this morning; I had it with Nora… but when I got up to leave… Oh, no. My lungs collapse. If it fell out of my pocket, it could still be sitting on her bed. Struggling to stay calm, I remember the operator’s instructions from when I called this morning. Somewhere on the Ballroom Level. As I approach the Information Desk, I stare suspiciously at the three bellmen in the front corner of the lobby. Dressed in starched black vests, they look right at home, but something seems off. Just as the tallest one turns my way, I notice the closing elevator on my immediate right. A quick burst of speed lets me squeeze through the doors just as they’re about to slam shut. Whipping around, the last thing I see is the tall bellman. He’s not even watching. I’m still okay.

Excerpt: “Stop the car!” I shout a few blocks from my destination. The car jerks to an immediate halt. “Here?” the driver asks. “Up a little further,” I say, eyeing the McDonald’s on 17th Street. “Perfect. Stop.” Noticing the newspaper that someone left in the backseat, I pull off my tie and wrap it around the blood-smeared towel. When I’m done, I stuff both inside the Metro section of the paper, hop out of the cab, and toss a ten-dollar bill in the driver’s window. As the cab pulls away, I take a breath and walk as calmly as I can toward McDonald’s. Skirting around the line inside, it doesn’t take me long to reach the trash cans. With a quick push, I shove the ball of newspaper into the garbage. In here, every red stain is ketchup.

Excerpt: Bounding upstairs two at a time, I race up the interior stairwell of the Treasury Building. Nora’s voice has all but faded away and the only thing I’m focused on is the small black-and-white sign that reads “Exit—Lobby Level.” Approaching the door, I want to kick it open and make a mad dash out the front. But, afraid of the attention, I inch it open and peek out—just enough to figure out where the hell I am. Down the hall in front of me is a metal detector and a sign-in desk. Behind the desk, with their backs to me, are a pair of uniformed Secret Service. Damn—how am I going to get through—Wait—I don’t have to get through anything. I’m already in. All I have to do is leave. Stepping out of the stairwell, I lift my shoulders, stuff confidence into my posture, and move firmly toward the turnstile at the exit. As I get closer, the officers are checking IDs and clearing in visitors. Neither of them has noticed me.

Excerpt: I step into the turnstile, but just as the metal bar presses against my waist, the officer closest to me turns my way. I force a smile and give him a two-fingered salute. “Have a good one,” I add. He nods back without a word. But he’s still staring. As I pass through the turnstile, I feel his eyes on the back of my head. Ignore him. Don’t panic. Only a few more steps to the glass door that leads outside. Almost there. A little farther. Across the street, I see the white-and-gold entrance of the Old Ebbitt Grill. This is it. If he’s going to stop me, it’s going to be in the next five seconds. Four. Three. I lean into the door and push it open. Two. This is his last chance. One. The door swings back behind me, leaving me alone on 15th Street. I’m out.

Excerpt: As we move up West Exec, I can’t tell if there’re people running across the narrow street that separates the OEOB and the White House. Even if it’s empty, though, someone could easily walk out. Hoping to avoid surprises, and following my earlier instructions, Nora makes a sharp left up the concrete driveway and pulls right under the twenty-foot archway that leads to the ground floor of the OEOB. Out of sight and used mostly as a loading zone, it’s more obscure than the wide-open area of the West Exec parking lot. As the car levels off, I know we’re there. Nora shuts the engine and slams the door. Now comes the hard part.